No post today - Why are 10 times more people interested in sushi than in Vermeer?

I don't get it. Based on the number of pageviews, 10 times more people are interested in sushi than in Vermeer. I really don't get it. They should be roughly equivalent. At this point I'm pretty dumbfounded, and instead of writing a post today, I'm going to spend my time trying to figure out why this is actually the case. Maybe people like Flemish artists more. Do you think more people would be interested in Van Eyck? Rubens? Van Dyck? Rembrandt?

Here's some food for thought:

Vermeer's Greatest Works

As many of you may (or may not know), I'm a huge fan of Dutch (and Flemish, I guess I just like the low countries) art. From Van Eyck to Vermeer, I think the realism in their works cannot be compared to. Especially by that horrible style called impressionism. Man, night and day. One is clearly better than the other. While Van Eyck was active in the early 15th century, and Vermeer was in the 17th century, you can clearly see how Vermeer's style was shaped by Van Eyck. Just look at the lighting, how the faces are drawn, and just how real everything appears. Henceforth, is a list of Vermeer's Greatest Works. Note that most of the figures included link to a high-resolution version of that painting.

This is probably the most well-known one, but not my favorite because it's so popular. You can see how how he contrasts the lighting to make it look as if the girl is the only thing in the frame. He wants to make it feel as if this girl is the only thing in the world you should care about. She's also looking at you, longingly, making it seem as if you and she are the only things in the world at this point in time.

Here's one of my favorites. It's a scenery shot, which are my favorite things to do in paintings and in photos. It really captures the essence of the place. This is Delft, a city near the coast of Holland (between Rotterdam and The Hague). It's very close to where le 2015 Tour is starting. Anyways, you can see just the simple life of the townspeople, and how serene and tranquil everything is. Compare that to the stress of big city life, and now you see why they're happier than us.

Here's another one of my favorites. Again, it follows Vermeer's standard style: interior with one or two figures, and they're doing a mundane day-to-day task. In this case, the woman is writing a letter, and you've just so happened to stop her mid-sentence. Instead of being angry, she doesn't really care, because she's not so stressed about writing letters that she would fret over every word. Also, note the contrasting colors and lighting between the woman's clothes, and the tablecloth. You can see all of the shiny things that have been highlighted by the lighting style. Incidentally, this painting is in Washington DC now, so you can go see it any time, but I was also able to see it when it went on loan (not unlike David House) to the Norton Simon museum in Pasadena in 2008-2009.

And this is the one that I've studied the most. It's a meta painting, as in the guy is painting in this painting. It's actually a painting of himself, painting a woman. Just look at that lighting man, and the correct reflection of light off of everything. The lighting highlights the woman being painted, but you also have to notice all the small details on the outsides of the painting. Everything in here has meaning. All of the small objects. The double eagle at the top of the chandelier. The map of the Netherlands, the chair and drape in the foreground. The items on the table, including a plaster mask (???). Everything has meaning, but we have no idea exactly what everything means. If you're interested, I highly suggest you read about this great piece of art, but not from me, of course, because I have no idea what I'm talking about.

Incidentally, Dali referred to this specific painting many times in his own paintings in the 20th century, here's just one of them (THIS IS NOT A VERMEER!!):

Anyways, I hope that you enjoyed this small window into the world of Dutch art. If you're more interested than before, please go visit your local museum and go check some of these out. Or you should ask people from the Art History Deparment at McGill University; one of my course instructors is now here and knows everything about this stuff.

I may do a post about contemporaneous Flemish art as well.

NO POST TODAY - This series should not be going 6 games

I'm really disappointed right now. I'm so disappointed that I don't feel like writing about anything today. It better be over by game 6, though. So no post today. Also I'm still sick.

How the Race was Lost - Liège-Bastogne-Liège

My last post was such a success, with over 200 pageviews, that I've decided to write this one without waiting for Cyclocosm's how the race was won analysis.

It's the last edition of this thing for awhile. Liège-Bastogne-Liège, also known as La Doyenne, which means "the oldest" is the last of the Ardennes and the spring classics. I won't be doing one of these until the end of the Giro, most likely, because there aren't really any really interesting races until then.

Just as a reminder, there can only be one winner, because everyone else is a loser.

Sushi and Sashimi

I told someone I would write about sushi. So I'm going to describe what some of the most common sushis are made of, for Americans like me who think sushi is all California Rolls and smelly fish. I really like sushi. In fact, the only think I like more than sushi is sashimi, which is basically the Atkins version of sushi. Herein we list some of the major types of sushi (only nigiri), and sashimi. Please refer to the following figure henceforth, we will go across all rows, starting from the top left.

Guest Post: The Greatest Field in the History of the Marathon

Please note that the following does not represent the views of myself, the original blog owner. It was written by a guest blogger, who has wished to remain anonymous. I will name him or her Cappie for ease of naming convention. None of what follows reflect what I believe at all. In fact, I find that running is an inferior sport to things such as kabaddi, cycling, and biathlon. However, if you were to ask me about running, I would say that Kenenisa Bekele and Haile Gebrselassie are by far the most interesting (and two of the best) runners of our generation. Actually, after you watch the marathon on Sunday, you should also tune into Eurosport to watch Liège-Bastogne-Liège, one of the monuments of cycling (Along with Milan-San Remo, De Ronde, Paris-Roubaix, and Il Lombardia). It promises to be a great day with a lot of attacking and a number of selections close to the finish in Ans (not actually in Liège). Anyways, here's Cappie's very long, but well-written and non-misantrhopic post:

I was supposed to do a guest post today, but I got really angry instead and had to vent in the only way I could think of.

Because one of my roommates turned off the heat last night in my apartment for no apparent reason. I got really sick again through no fault of my own. So no guest post today if you were looking forward to it. Sorry. It's not my fault. I'll post it tomorrow.

Introduction to Kabaddi: The most interesting sport in the world

The masses have spoken, and most people want a special post about Kabaddi. As a disclaimer, this is a completely serious post, unlike most of the ones before.

Kabaddi is a sport that originated in India, probably when it was developed as a very simple game with no need for expensive equipment. Since then, it has spread in popularity throughout parts of Southern and Western Asia, including Bangladesh, Pakistan, Iran, and even reached as far as South Korea. If you've never seen it, think of it as a combination of Red Rover, and Team Tag. I very much enjoyed watching Kabaddi on TV while in India. It's clearly the most interesting Indian sport.

Here are a few pictures to tide you over:

The basics of the game are as follows, roughly, for the international rules of this sport and the Indian Pro Kabaddi League. The Indian World Kabaddi League has different rules. There are also tons of international variations, so this is what I gathered to be the most interesting type of Kabaddi, though it might not correspond completely to a specific league.
-Each team has a number of players, each on their own side. Each team alternates sending a single player over to the otherside, where the goal is to touch an opponent and then return to your own side.
-This scores one point for your team, and it removes the touched opponent.
-If your team was originally down one or more players, whenever you score a point, you can recover a lost player.
-When you are on the other side, the other team is allowed to tackle you, or push you out of bounds. If this occurs before you reach your side, then you are out and the other team scores a point, leading to a recovery of their own lost player, if applicable.
-The entire team may attempt to tackle you.
-You may touch as many players as you like while you are on the other side. If you get back successfully, they are all out and you score than many points.
-If the entire other team is out, you score 3 points.
-You may also score a point by touching the baseline and retreating as well.
-The big catch is that for the entire time that you are on the other side, you cannot breathe, and you must continue to say the word "Kabaddi" the entire time. The word itself means nothing.
-If a bunch of people try to tackle you, and you get back to your side, they are all out, so some strategy exists as to what you want to do when attempting to tackle someone.
-There are also tons of nuances of the game, that you can only get by watching or participating. I leave it to you to do so.
-You see how in the first picture up to, those two guys are just standing there doing nothing? It's because they can't actually do anything other than watch and cheer on their own guy.
-Because of some cheating, some of the modern leagues don't even check whether you are breathing or not or even saying "Kabaddi", now they just have a "shot clock" and when time is up, your turn is over. Since it's pretty hard to judge if someone is breathing and saying "Kabaddi Kabaddi Kabaddi" the whole time.

Here's an exciting video of Kabaddi at a recent Asian games. It's Iran (red) vs. India (white):

Note that in some Indian leagues, like the World Kabaddi League, you may only touch one opponent, and then that opponent is the only one who is able to attempt to tackle you. I think this is a stupid rule and reduces Kabaddi to a series of wrestling matches.

This is my third favorite sport to watch. My first two are cycling and biathlon. I haven't done a biathlon post yet, but that will be coming shortly. Note that I may also do an upcoming post about advanced techniques and strategies in Kabaddi. If you're interested, please check out the wikipedia page, and there are probably very popular movies and TV shows that you've seen that have featured Kabaddi, according to Wikipedia. America has two teams in the inferior World Kabaddi League, so if you're interested, please check that out, even though it is an inferior league.

In addition, I will be organizing a Kabaddi match in Boston sometime this summer. Please let me know if you are interested.

Also note that I've disabled anonymous comments. Please put your money where your mouth is from now on.

Finally, tomorrow I will have a guest post by an anonymous loyal reader. He or she refuses to acknowledge his or her own name.

Everything You Should Know About Trout and Salmon

I really enjoy Trout and Salmon. Some people like one, some people like the other, some people like both, some people like none. I happen to like both. They are very different fish. I will now go on to explain what I like about each. They are similar, but slightly different depending on variety. They are also very healthy fish. High in Omega 3 fatty acids (but not Omega 6 fatty acids), proteins, B-12. Depending on the variety, they can also be very low in mercury. For example, wild-caught Pacific salmon are extremely low in mercury, whereas farmed Atlantic salmon have a merely "low" rating in mercury content.

This is a specific type of trout:

This is a specific type of Salmon:

There are many different species of Trout and Salmon, so I'm probably generalizing here. Trout is a mostly freshwater fish (although there do exist saltwater trout, but they mostly come back to spawn in freshwater). Trout are usually bonier than salmon. Trout has a milder taste, but is also oily. I believe Salmon is more naturally sweet. I really enjoy raw salmon, but I don't think I've had raw trout before. I think that the texture of trout might be more delicate than that of salmon, but I don't know, I'm not an expert. I did have really great fresh-smoked Trout in Mallaig, Scotland. This variety is a sea trout (saltwater) and is very good.

Remember that Atlantic and Pacific salmon are very different as well. Atlantic Salmon should have lighter flesh, and should be fattier than Pacific Salmon.

If you want to try something that is kind of a hybrid, have the Steelhead Trout. Or Arctic Char. What matters is that you like the taste. One of my upcoming posts will be about the different types of sushis that you should enjoy. In addition, don't make the mistake and assume that Trout is a skinny Asian guy who runs around campus shirtless in short-shorts.

Finally, a Post About Something Cultured

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How the Race was Lost - Amstel Gold Race

Remember, I hate losers. I hate losers almost as much as sore losers. And you know who is a sore loser? Everyone who gets second place. Even though you might say the right things like "the first place was stronger, or better today", but in reality, you are really angry that you didn't get first place. Because you're the first loser, you're really angry. You're so angry that you have a bad angover the next day and your body is really sore. That's why second place is a sore loser. You could have tried 100x less and still had the same result: a loss. You also could have tried 100x more and beaten the first place guy and won. Then, you wouldn't be a loser. Remember:

Classic.

Anyways, let's get onwards to the analysis of how the race was lost. Amstel gold is a race held in Limburg, Netherlands. It's part of the Ardennes week (even though it's not in the Ardennes región of Belgium). There are many bergs to be taken on in order to finish this race, so in general it's not a very selective race until the final ascent up the Cauberg. Phil has conquered this climb four times in the past (three at Amstel Gold, and once at the World Championships).

By the way, you are a loser if you don't watch the free Luxembourgish stream from RTL sports. It's free, and you can practice your Luxembourgish, which is a really interesting language. All of the Luxembourgish riders gave interviews. Fränk, Laurent, and Bob all gave interviews in their native tongues. I can't really understand it, but if you speak French or German, you have a chance. They even got Ben Gastauer from AG2R to give an interview while my team, TFR, was having the team presentation in the background with Fränk's colorful national champion's kit. Also, Alex Kirsch of Cult Energy made a cameo. By the way, this was Fränk's win in 2006. Andy wasn't good yet:

But really, no one expects any of these guys to win, especially Fränk. It's all about losing for them. Yes, they are all losers. But they are popular. So maybe it's ok to be a loser if you're popular and get all the fame yeah?

You lose if you have a mechanical, like Diego Rosa. You lose if you go on a solo attack, like Simon Clarke. You lose if you overexert yourself, like everyone. You lose when you wear an ugly kit, like all of Lampre. You lose if no one will cooperate with you, like Vincenzo Nibali.

You lose if for some reason there's an oncoming car in your way.

You also lose if you end up in a field.

You lose if you get into a petty catfight during a race. Here's an alternative view. I do have to say that it was completely Roy Curvers' fault for crashing into the other guy. So Vicente Reynes had good reason to be upset. I would be upset. If you watch to the end, Curvers' own team car also isn't paying attention and rear-ends the next team car. Man, Giant-Alpecin, for all the good results you've had, man you gotta have more respect man.

You lose if you start your sprint early, like the Sky man on the right. You lose if you're on the wheel of the wrong guy, like Michael Matthews. He stuck with Phil, even though he shouldn't have, and ended up having nothing left for the sprint. You lose unless you're wearing the rainbow World Champion's jersey, like Michal Kwaitkowski. Congrats Michal. At least you've won another thing even though your parents decided to spell your name wrong.

Anyways, I'm not a big fan of the race because there's no selection. But Wednesday we have La Flèche Wallonne, with a finish on the Mur de Huy, and Sunday we have Liège-Bastogne-Liège, which strangely is a race that starts in Liège (important battle in WWI), goes to Bastogne (important siege in WWII), and then back to Liège. Stay tuned for more. La Doyenne, in particular, is going to be incredibly exciting, I believe.

Remember, here's Cyclocosm's How the Race was Won, for a more positive outlook:

How to Never Get Lost.

Just don't go anywhere.

PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT: NO POST TODAY

BECAUSE I FEEL SICK. NOT ONLY AM I SICK OF YOU AND PEOPLE IN GENERAL, I'M ACTUALLY SICK.

I hope to have an Amstel Gold Race loser's analysis by Monday, however.

Things are Changing

I'm changing the style of this blog since no one seems to read it anymore. The last two days I've gotten 5 and 8 views, respectively. Thanks, to those 5 and 8 people. Or should I write with correct grammar, five and eight. It's only been a couple weeks, and it's already time for change. For those of you who enjoyed my previous style of writing, you'll still get your doses.

This past weekend, I learned three things about myself. One of which is that I'm actually not a misanthrope, as previously suggested. Note that this is only true when I'm not in Boston. For some reason, when I'm in Boston, all three things that I learned about myself are no longer true, especially the misanthropic part. I have no idea why. Actually I have a pretty good idea why. I've also learned two other things about myself, which I will write about when I feel like.

So I'm not a misanthrope. I like people. I enjoy the company of people. I like enjoying the company of people. These are all facts. And I like people enjoying the company of myself, because I have a very big ego, it turns out. So I'm not going to represent myself as an angry and sarcastic misanthrope anymore.

With that said, I'm changing the style of this blog. Before, everything I wrote was very angry and very, very sarcastic. From now on, some days the posts will be very serious and meaningful, at least hopefully they will be meaningful to you. They will definitely be serious. I have no idea which days I will feel what way, but just know that on any given day, I could feel either way, and the post could be sarcastic or serious. It's up to you to decide after reading which you think it is.

On a separate note, those bike race analyses that like only five of you enjoy reading will still be angry and sarcastic, because that's how I view bike races in which my team, TFR, loses. Also, if you didn't get it before, my previous post about the best restaurants in LA was clearly a joke.

If you can guess which two places this exists, you can win a prize.

--The Protector

Best Restaurants in Los Angeles

In no particular order.

• Sizzler
• El Pollo Loco
• Jack in the Box
• PF Chang's
• Outback Steakhouse
• Church's Chicken
• Carl's Jr.
• Del Taco
• Waffle House
• IHOP

On why Alaska Airlines is Awesome

First of all, there was a Déjà Vu moment on an Asiana Airlines flight yesterday. Incredibly ironic for many reasons, if you want to know exactly why, just let me know and I will tell you, faster than you can say Poopty Peupty Pantssss.

Anyways, on to the main topic.

So why aren't all of the other airlines as good as Alaska Airlines? Why are they less friendly? Why are they less on time? Why are the IFEs worse? Why is the in-flight product worse? What happened to Fly the Friendly Skies? Why are their planes old and dilapidated? Why are they still flying old MDs? What happened to treating customers with respect? Why doesn't everyone else have a 20 minute baggage guarantee? And I'm not talking about you, Delta, because you just copy everything Alaska does, including trying to take over Seattle in its place and trying to undercut them out.

Etc.

All the rest of you should shape up, otherwise I'm going to stop flying you when my status disappears. It's unfortunate that Alaska is in Alaska and the Pacific Northwest, otherwise I would fly them all the time. It seems unreasonable to fly from Boston to Seattle and then back to Philly/BWI if I want to visit my dad. But I would do it just so I can tell all the other airlines (Southwest is ok) that look, this is what I did because you're so bad.

Maybe it's time to move to the Pacific Northwest?

Please note that this post only pertains to domestic products. The international products of airlines in America is acceptable, but nowhere approaching the quality of those from Asia and Europe (at least the non LCCs).

Also, would any other airline stop if this situation occurred? Almost certainly not in Asia.

http://avherald.com/h?article=484b8d67&opt=0



If you're interested in learning more about some of the things that I find crappy about flying, please visit the following blogs:

http://www.airlinereporter.com/
http://crankyflier.com/

And some amusing pictures from The Cranky Flier which will make no sense to most of you. It's a great blog by a guy who is cranky all the time, just like me:

Note that I will have a guest post on April 23rd by a loyal reader named Salmon.

How the Race was Lost - Paris-Roubaix

I'm back. And angrier than ever. Actually I feel pretty great.

Another major classic that was lost. Let's see exactly how it was lost. Remember, that of the roughly 190 dudes, about 189 are losers. 60 people crashed out, or dropped out. In fact, 7 guys were so slow that they were disqualified from the race because the race organizers wanted to tidy up the velodrôme. Only one person is not a loser. Well, I can't possibly comment on whether he's a loser in real life, but at least for one day, he is not a loser on the pavé. Whether someone is a loser in real life is a really subjective thing, isn't it. People can decide for themselves, based on their own principles, beliefs, and definitions. Remember that man can not judge man, only God can judge man. In this way it's always objective and fair.

I'm a big fan of objective sports. Specifically, most of the sports that measure a specific thing: like who gets to the line first, who jumps the highest, who runs the fastest, etc. But not ski jumping. Ski jumping is a very subjective sport, where "style" points are awarded for no reason. No one cares if your landing looks better than someone else's. Did you fly farther than someone else? If so, you should objectively be the winner, and everyone else should be the loser, which they are if you put your mind to it. It can be argued that if you're being chased by something that wants to eat something, then only the last place is the loser and everyone else is the winner, but let's assume that the monster is super hungry and wants to eat everyone minus one.

Also, remember that most things are not Russian, where there are only losers and no winners. Let's assume that for the rest of this post. You can believe what you want after you close the browser tab (because who opens things in separate windows anymore).

So in the Roubaix velodrôme, a winner is always crowned, and many losers also appear and they are completely irrelevant. Objectively speaking, only the winner is remembered. The loser is forgotten in the annals of history. When you see a list of winners, you see great names. Spartacus, Tom, Eddy, Museeuw, Stuart O'Grady. You never see a list of losers. Show me where there's a list of losers and I will give you props and let you write a guest post on my blog. I guarantee it.

Anyways, on to the race, and how it was lost. If you take on the French TGV train, you've lost.

If anyone had gotten hit by the TGV, they lose. By rule, anyone crossing lowered barriers, should have lost. But for some stupid reason, the race organizer likes winners and not losers. This is markedly different from their stance in 2006, where the following three people cross the crossing when they shouldn't have, and then were relegated (courtesy of Phil Liggett). Spartacus won this race legitimately. These guys lost because they were trying to cheat. But for some reason the 2015 racers didn't lose because they all cheated. Come on man. Be consistent. Punish everyone indiscriminately. Anyways, the 2006 train incident, (courtesy of Phil Liggett), where Tom was promoted to first loser.

You also lose if you can't take any food because your fake teeth fell out (guy on right):

You also lose if you crash into a spectator:

Anyways, for real analysis, I think you always lose if you take Degenkolb into the Velodrôme. Should have left him behind when you could. You always lose if you lead out your teammate, like Lampaert. And if you led your teammate out incorrectly, your whole team loses, like EQS. They are the greatest losers in the history of the sport. You always lose if your name is Greg Van Avermaet. Props to Degs for making everyone else a loser.

Remember, if you would rather view things positively, here's a video by cyclocosm about how the race was won, instead of lost:

The next one of these cycling analyses that no one reads is going to be Liège-Bastogne-Liège. For those of you who know anything about history, these were major battles in WWI and WWII, respectively. Please read up before reading my next How the Race was Lost installment. By the way, USA is the two-time defending World War Champion. Just saying. We're winners.

No Blog Posts for a Few Days

I'm going to be out of town for a few days to a land where people are happier, healthier, tanner, and lazier. If you wonder why I ever moved away from that land where drivers are slower, stupider, passiver, and slower, it's because I'm afraid of earthquakes. Not those small ones around 5.0, I'm talking about the larger ones around 7.0 or higher, not that I've been in one, I've only been in one around 5.5.

Anyways, I'll submit a non-detailed trip report when I return. I'm taking a Delta flight paid for by SkyPesos. It's my first Delta flight, if you don't count the Northwest flight I took in 1991 to leave the People's Republic. Anyways, we'll see what happens right? Stupidly, I also have a huge layover in the land of deep fried Twinkies, but at least those people are nice, right?

Anyways, here's a list of upcoming blog post topics:
-Introduction to Kabbadi
-Introduction to Biathlon
-Detailed Analysis of the Men's events at the Biathlon World Championships
-Trip Paid by SkyPesos
-How the Next Major Race was Lost
-Reasons Why You Still Read this Blog
-How to Become a Misanthrope
-Guest Post I
-Which Fish to Avoid if You Don't Want to Get Sick
-List of My Favorite Blogs
-How to Eat Fried Worms
-Having Fun Isn't Hard, When You've Got a Library Card
-Trek Factory Racing Rider Profiles
-Guest Post II
-What Would You Do for a Klondike Bar?
-In-depth Analysis of the PBS Drug Bugs Commercial from the Early 1990s
-Everything You Should Know About Trout and Salmon
-How to Not Get Lost. Ever.
-Vermeer's Greatest Works
-A Day in the Life of the Most Boring Person in the World
-I Don't Always Have Fun, but When I Do, I Prefer to Have it at the Expense of Someone Else

If you have any suggestions on content, please feel free to let me know, because I'm always starved for content. And if you want to make a guest post, please let me know as well. I'm always happy to let other people do my work for me.

I'm Addicted to Anger and Sarcasm

People are addicted to many different things. I'm addicted to anger and sarcasm. They're two of my favorite feelings. I love being sarcastic, and I love when people are sarcastic to me. Believe it or not, I also like being angry. I don't like being angry at specific people, but I'm very happy when I'm angry in general. It's like when you're a person who just likes to be happy. Well I like to be angry.

But in the past I've never really expressed my anger productively. Now I am. If you quantified my anger every single day, it would correlate to how long of a blog post I'm about to write. But how would you know? You don't even follow this blog daily. How can you say that you know how angry I am on a given day if you don't even read this blog.

Anyways, you should keep reading this blog to see how angry I am by correlation. Remember, the longer the posts, the happier I am, because the angrier I am.

These are some of the things that I love being angry about the most:

-Bad drivers
-Potholes
-Traffic
-Losing
-Poor drivers
-Getting cut off
-People not driving the speed limit
-Jaywalkers
-People who run red lights
-People who don't like driving
-People who don't like planes
-Bad infrastructure
-When your flight is delayed
-When your flight is early
-Public Transportation
-Private Transportation
-When two trucks drive down both lanes of a 2-lane interstate and block traffic
-The Democratic Party
-The Republican Party
-Losing
-When someone else, who's not me or my team, wins
-Why you don't read this blog every day, what happened to the support you promised?
-Why you read this blog everyday, do you even have a life?

Anyways, if you see me on the street, make sure you say hi, and if I'm angry, I'll say hi back. Otherwise I'll probably ignore you because I'm pretty unhappy because I'm not angry. If you keep talking to me and I keep ignoring you, eventually I will also say hi to you because I'll be eventually getting angry at people in general, but not you, so I'll be happy and say hi. Here's a random picture of a thing that makes me angry, which in turn makes me happy because at least other people are being inconvenienced, and I gain utility when other people are inconvenienced slightly more than I am.

List of things that I like about Canada

1) It borders the USA
2) It borders Quebec
3) It borders the USA again
4)

How the Race was Lost - De Ronde

Usually people analyze winning. But I like to analyze losing, because it's easier to lose than it is to win. It's a lot easier. Only one person or one team can win, unless there's a tie. I hate ties. They're pointless. Except in soccer and hockey, where they make sense because the PK/shootout method is such a stupid way to finish games. Remember. You play to win the game, you don't play to just play. Second place is first loser. The silver medal winner of many Olympic sports actually LOSES his final match. Why would you give a medal to a LOSER??? But anyways, let's talk more in depth about losing.

Take yesterday's Ronde for instance. You can't win if you don't even try. Maybe you got sick, maybe you got scared. But Michael Jordan was sick and he dominated the Jazz in 1998. So getting sick is not an excuse. You can't win if you're injured. Unless you're Spartacus. Because we all know that even though he was sitting at home, he still won.

You can't win if you get hit by a car. Like Jesse Sergeant:

And then later, the same blue car rear-ends another car, which takes out another guy:

I hate bad drivers. But the one thing I hate more than bad drivers is chronically bad drivers. The same driver took out two dudes. That's unacceptable. That's how you lose the race. That's how drivers lose their licenses, not by not paying fines. That's unacceptable. In America, you can lose your license and go to jail if you're financially unable to pay your fines. It's happened a lot. And then without your license, you lose your job, etc.

But you get the point. Anyways, let's get back to talking about how the race was lost.


You also can't win if you just give up. 2/3 of the guys gave up during the race. It doesn't make sense. If you're playing to win the game, why would you give up? What are you saving yourself for? Scheldeprijs? Haha. What a laugh.

You can't win if you attack with Kristoff. What a laugh. You probably couldn't have won even if you attacked without Kristoff. What a laugh. Hahaha. What a joke. Maybe you were going for second place. What a horrible idea. If you can't go for first, don't go for it at all. Maybe second is good enough for you? But why? You're a loser. Second place is a losing place. It's a losing strategy. Again, EQS messed up. We'll see what happens on Wednesday and then next Sunday, I suppose. Would I watch it again? Definitely not this year. Here's hoping that we have a Tom-Spartacus boxing match next year. Or at worst, in Richmond in September of this year. Anyone want to go to Richmond with me?

Everyone loses when Tom and Spartacus are at home. Who's Tom? Sucks for you that you don't know. Who is Spartacus? I am definitely NOT Spartacus.

And this is what happens when you take the Muur out (yes, they're protesting removal of the Muur).

And that's how the race was lost. By not having the Muur.

By the way, if you want to know how the race was won, you should visit Cyclocosm's blog and watch his video.

Public Service Announcement: No Post Today

For all of the 23 followers of this blog, please note that I will not be making a post today. Because it's Easter Sunday. And De Ronde is going on right now.

And don't call me a hypocrite for making a blog post about how there won't be a blog post today. I actually wrote this post yesterday (or for me currently it would be today), since I plan a lot and am stretching out my content.

And this is why I don't bike in Boston. Or anywhere with cars.
http://sporza.be/static/embed/?autoplay=1&permalink=1.2294849

De Ronde on Easter Sunday, sans Tom and Spartacus

This year's Ronde will be less exciting than last year's, if you're a fan of Tom and Spartacus fighting it out. Instead, there will be a greater chance that someone else wins, because both Tom and Spartacus are out due to horrible injury (dislocated shoulder and fractured vertebrae, respectively). Only one starter is a former victor of De Ronde, Stijn Devolder, and most likely, even though TFR is great, there will be a first-time victor of De Ronde. Anyone could win, but not really. So it'll be pretty interesting, but not so exciting. Last year's Ronde was one of the most exciting things I've ever seen. It's also the first Ronde to be on Easter Sunday since 2010 (can someone confirm this for me? I'm lazy). So the spectators will be moving from Easter service outside to somewhere to hang out and watch De Ronde.

I'm going to try to go next year to De Ronde, since it's like the national holiday of Belgiums. Also Greg told me to go to Germany to go to Belgium and I can't not listen to Greg. And perhaps I might rent a bike and ride to Belgiums from Germany and around all of the famous bergs, like the Muur, the Koppenberg, the Taienberg, and the Oude Kwaremont etc. Anyways, I'm glad that my church is having an afternoon Easter service, so I can go there after watching an interesting, though not that exciting Ronde on TV. And remember, Paris-Roubaix the following Sunday.

Most of you probably don't have a lick of an idea of what I'm talking about. I don't blame you. Most of the time I don't even know what I'm talking about. Except I'm definitely the expert when it comes to De Ronde.

Here's a picture of the Kapelmuur on a normal day for those of you who are interested and have no idea what I'm talking about.

And here's a picture of the Kapelmuur on Easter Sunday of 2010.

Unfortunately, the Muur hasn't featured since 2011 because they moved the finish to Oudenaarde.

And if you've made it to the end, you still probably have no idea what I'm talking about. But that's not my fault. It's yours.

I'm Bored Because I'm Boring

Yeah I decided to start this after initially deciding not to, but since people like to hear misanthropic, stream-of-consciousness rambling in general, I'm doing this out of the goodness of my heart. So that people have stuff to read once in awhile. If this becomes bothersome, or if I get even more bored than usual, then please forgive me for not keeping this up to date. Also, this seems like a better idea than limiting myself to 140 characters via twitter in order to make snarky remarks about nothing. Likely, this will end up being a lost blog which I make a few posts, no one reads the posts, then I make a few more posts, and then no one reads those posts, then I get pretty bored and start reading other peoples' blogs, then I realize that those other blogs are better than mine, and then I shut mine down because people should read better blogs than this one.

A big thanks to the following blogs for giving me the initial inspiration to screw with people and make them think I was going to start a blog, and then after they realized I wasn't going to start one, I ended up screwing with them and then starting one anyways. Here are the blogs that you should read:

LVantData (http://www.georgesomi.com/)
Noah in Tokyo (http://noahintokyo.blogspot.jp/)
Albert's stream-of-consciousness blog which was taken down because he was embarrassed about it.
The ELSI blog (http://www.elsi.jp/en/blog/)
My Yelp Reviews (tzjia.yelp.com)

Also, I hope you are having a Good Friday. I don't feel like attaching any images this time.

Also, I'd like to thank one of my college friends for the inspiring title that I ended up using. Never did I think that something we came up with at random almost 10 years ago would be useful. If you want some royalties, you'll have to contact my lawyer.