How the Race was Lost - Amstel Gold Race

Remember, I hate losers. I hate losers almost as much as sore losers. And you know who is a sore loser? Everyone who gets second place. Even though you might say the right things like "the first place was stronger, or better today", but in reality, you are really angry that you didn't get first place. Because you're the first loser, you're really angry. You're so angry that you have a bad angover the next day and your body is really sore. That's why second place is a sore loser. You could have tried 100x less and still had the same result: a loss. You also could have tried 100x more and beaten the first place guy and won. Then, you wouldn't be a loser. Remember:

Classic.

Anyways, let's get onwards to the analysis of how the race was lost. Amstel gold is a race held in Limburg, Netherlands. It's part of the Ardennes week (even though it's not in the Ardennes región of Belgium). There are many bergs to be taken on in order to finish this race, so in general it's not a very selective race until the final ascent up the Cauberg. Phil has conquered this climb four times in the past (three at Amstel Gold, and once at the World Championships).

By the way, you are a loser if you don't watch the free Luxembourgish stream from RTL sports. It's free, and you can practice your Luxembourgish, which is a really interesting language. All of the Luxembourgish riders gave interviews. Fränk, Laurent, and Bob all gave interviews in their native tongues. I can't really understand it, but if you speak French or German, you have a chance. They even got Ben Gastauer from AG2R to give an interview while my team, TFR, was having the team presentation in the background with Fränk's colorful national champion's kit. Also, Alex Kirsch of Cult Energy made a cameo. By the way, this was Fränk's win in 2006. Andy wasn't good yet:

But really, no one expects any of these guys to win, especially Fränk. It's all about losing for them. Yes, they are all losers. But they are popular. So maybe it's ok to be a loser if you're popular and get all the fame yeah?

You lose if you have a mechanical, like Diego Rosa. You lose if you go on a solo attack, like Simon Clarke. You lose if you overexert yourself, like everyone. You lose when you wear an ugly kit, like all of Lampre. You lose if no one will cooperate with you, like Vincenzo Nibali.

You lose if for some reason there's an oncoming car in your way.

You also lose if you end up in a field.

You lose if you get into a petty catfight during a race. Here's an alternative view. I do have to say that it was completely Roy Curvers' fault for crashing into the other guy. So Vicente Reynes had good reason to be upset. I would be upset. If you watch to the end, Curvers' own team car also isn't paying attention and rear-ends the next team car. Man, Giant-Alpecin, for all the good results you've had, man you gotta have more respect man.

You lose if you start your sprint early, like the Sky man on the right. You lose if you're on the wheel of the wrong guy, like Michael Matthews. He stuck with Phil, even though he shouldn't have, and ended up having nothing left for the sprint. You lose unless you're wearing the rainbow World Champion's jersey, like Michal Kwaitkowski. Congrats Michal. At least you've won another thing even though your parents decided to spell your name wrong.

Anyways, I'm not a big fan of the race because there's no selection. But Wednesday we have La Flèche Wallonne, with a finish on the Mur de Huy, and Sunday we have Liège-Bastogne-Liège, which strangely is a race that starts in Liège (important battle in WWI), goes to Bastogne (important siege in WWII), and then back to Liège. Stay tuned for more. La Doyenne, in particular, is going to be incredibly exciting, I believe.

Remember, here's Cyclocosm's How the Race was Won, for a more positive outlook: