How the Race was Lost - De Ronde

Usually people analyze winning. But I like to analyze losing, because it's easier to lose than it is to win. It's a lot easier. Only one person or one team can win, unless there's a tie. I hate ties. They're pointless. Except in soccer and hockey, where they make sense because the PK/shootout method is such a stupid way to finish games. Remember. You play to win the game, you don't play to just play. Second place is first loser. The silver medal winner of many Olympic sports actually LOSES his final match. Why would you give a medal to a LOSER??? But anyways, let's talk more in depth about losing.

Take yesterday's Ronde for instance. You can't win if you don't even try. Maybe you got sick, maybe you got scared. But Michael Jordan was sick and he dominated the Jazz in 1998. So getting sick is not an excuse. You can't win if you're injured. Unless you're Spartacus. Because we all know that even though he was sitting at home, he still won.

You can't win if you get hit by a car. Like Jesse Sergeant:

And then later, the same blue car rear-ends another car, which takes out another guy:

I hate bad drivers. But the one thing I hate more than bad drivers is chronically bad drivers. The same driver took out two dudes. That's unacceptable. That's how you lose the race. That's how drivers lose their licenses, not by not paying fines. That's unacceptable. In America, you can lose your license and go to jail if you're financially unable to pay your fines. It's happened a lot. And then without your license, you lose your job, etc.

But you get the point. Anyways, let's get back to talking about how the race was lost.


You also can't win if you just give up. 2/3 of the guys gave up during the race. It doesn't make sense. If you're playing to win the game, why would you give up? What are you saving yourself for? Scheldeprijs? Haha. What a laugh.

You can't win if you attack with Kristoff. What a laugh. You probably couldn't have won even if you attacked without Kristoff. What a laugh. Hahaha. What a joke. Maybe you were going for second place. What a horrible idea. If you can't go for first, don't go for it at all. Maybe second is good enough for you? But why? You're a loser. Second place is a losing place. It's a losing strategy. Again, EQS messed up. We'll see what happens on Wednesday and then next Sunday, I suppose. Would I watch it again? Definitely not this year. Here's hoping that we have a Tom-Spartacus boxing match next year. Or at worst, in Richmond in September of this year. Anyone want to go to Richmond with me?

Everyone loses when Tom and Spartacus are at home. Who's Tom? Sucks for you that you don't know. Who is Spartacus? I am definitely NOT Spartacus.

And this is what happens when you take the Muur out (yes, they're protesting removal of the Muur).

And that's how the race was lost. By not having the Muur.

By the way, if you want to know how the race was won, you should visit Cyclocosm's blog and watch his video.